Say NO to Holiday Sweaters!!!

I have patriotic socks, halloween socks, Christmas socks, a handband with disco balls on it, a little plastic tiara, a cape, a grass skirt with a coconut bra (which wouldn't fit half on one of my boobs in it), a couple of playboy bunny ears and tails, a couple of masks, mardi gras beads, a rack of cowboy hats, Hawaiian leis, a cowgirl outfit, a Bat Girl suit, a few Santa Claus hats, some reindeer antler headbands, etc...
So!!!!
Okay... I have a lot of costumes, costume accessories, and dress up things, but here is where I absolutely positively draw the line:

Holiday Sweaters!!!!!!

You know, the ones with the puff Santa Clauses and Christmas trees with real ornaments on them, and fringe and big ass sequins. THEY PROBABLY WEIGH LIKE 8 POUNDS !!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!

I won't do it. I refuse!!!!

Look at this goofy shit!!!!!!

She was probably a hot lady on the town, until she put this shit on.

It's just so.....so.....soooo.......corny. If you're above the age of 10, after you put this shit on, it ages you by like 20-25 years. You look like you should be sitting in a rocking chair in some corner with a quilt on your lap and some knitting needles. Who wants to be grown and looking like a fifth grade arts and crafts project.... on purpose!!!

You can't pair a hot outfit or some fly ass shoes with this!!!!
...not even these!!!!!

You'll look like a jackass!!!!!

And they have this shit for every holiday!!!!

WHY????????????

I'm sorry. It's just not gonna happen. Maybe one pumpkin, or one tree, but all of that other stuff... Not until I get to that age, where I never go anywhere, it's hot as hell in the house, and yet I'm always cold.
NOPE!!!!!



...and I'm Spent!