Monday, November 15, 2010

F*CK YOU Very Much Thank you letter to *ssholes

Thank you Kanye West, for writing “Runaway”, with that awesome hook:

“Let's have a toast for the douchebags,
Let's have a toast for the assholes,
Let's have a toast for the scumbags,
Every one of them that I know
Let's have a toast to the jerkoffs
That'll never take work off
Baby, I got a plan
Run away fast as you can”

I know a lot of those types, and I’m sure that I am those types to quite a few people, but thanks for putting it out there and motivating me to write this letter, as a toast of some sort to “Everyone of them that I know.”


Dear YOU,

I hate you, kinda, well I don’t hate you. My grandmother said don’t hate people, hate their ways, so let me start over…

Dear YOU,

I hate your ways! Your ways made me hate me… well my ways. So fuck you! I hate your way of making me feel like I was doing too much and not doing enough, and being too much and not being enough and just being too… ME. I just want to let you know that um… er…. Uh…F*CK YOU!

F*ck YOU! For pretending to want to be with me, ‘cause you thought you were going to SMASH. Oh but---- how did that work out for ya? You talk to much, word got back to me and, NO HAPS!

F*ck YOU! For going out of your way to do things for everybody else (who don’t matter) then having the nerve to be always looking for ME to do something for YOU!

F*ck YOU! For going hard, bad mouthing me behind my back (oh yeah, my friend told me) when I didn’t know who the fuck you were. My feeling were really hurt, because I didn’t know why (I was the NICEST person EVER back then). I let you slide, but just so you know. F*CK YOU!

F*ck YOU! For pretending you liked me, when you were really just trying to get at my friend. THAT was really dirty of you. And you wonder why all of YOUR relation ships are fucked up now!

F*ck YOU! For using the L word, when you didn’t mean it. Just, so you know I didn’t either, ‘cause I knew YOU didn’t. YOU thought you were getting over, didn’t you? Little did YOU know.

F*ck YOU! For trying to make me think that I was asking for too much, when actually, I never ASKED YOU for anything.

F*ck YOU! For leading me on and tell me what YOU THOUGHT I wanted to hear, when you could have just told the truth—especially when I was asking direct questions.

F*ck YOU! For believing your friend, and looking at me side-ways when he said I was-- “SHORTY WILD!” when I had honestly NOT done anything. Yet, YOUR FRIEND was the one who was WILD, and when I told you what he was doing and what HE failed to mention, you STILL looked at me sideways.

F*ck YOU! for telling me ONE thing about the relationship, then introducing me as “Erica” (Thanks Steve Harvey—I never knew til “Think Like a Man, Act Like a Lady)

F*ck YOU, & YOU, & YOU, &YOU! For trying to get with me after you tried to get with my friend first and she turned you down! What kind of shit is that? And you wonder why I could never take you seriously.

F*ck YOU! For holding a grudge against me for my single behavior, when YOU had a girlfriend, who I found out about by chance

F*ck YOU! For acting like I have to disclose all of my friends, dates, etc… with you, when I don’t know any of that about YOU

F*ck YOU! For trying to come back to me, and make me the side chick. What the f*ck do I look like?! If you've moved on MOVE ON!! BYE B*TCH!

F*ck YOU! For implying that I don't communicate enough, when YOU don't either.

F*ck YOU! For not taking the opportunity to be with me when you had the chance, and then talking to me about “could have/ would have/ should have.”

F*ck YOU! For being with every other chick, then getting an attitude with me, because you SEE me talking to a dude.

F*ck YOU, For being in my face on the phone and from behind closed doors, but waving at me from a distance in public.

F*ck YOU! For being such, a douchebag, asshole, scumbag, jerkoff… that I felt the need to write this letter

F*CK YOU!

I guess I should really be saying thank you, ‘cause now that I know all of this, I’m better off. So I’ll just combine the two, and say F*ck you very much! That is all.

Sincerely,

Erica

Ms. Kane, if you’re nasty!