Is desiring to be in a relationship something that's determined by nature or nurture?
I think it's BOTH
Nature: the inherent character or basic constitution of a person or thing
Nurture: the sum of the environmental factors influencing the behavior and traits expressed by an organism (training, upbringing)
Every time I bring up the fact that I don't date, I'm not "seeing" anyone, haven't been "seeing" anyone EVER, and don't have... er... intimate activities regularly, people always start kind of feeling a kind of pity towards me. They say... "Girl, you better do... this... that... the other ..." It's as if they're saying it's what I'm SUPPOSED to be doing. But, by who's standards are they basing this? I know it's "NORMAL" for adults to want to date and have relations, etc... and I also guess, it's "NORMAL" to actively seek out these things regularly. However, it's not a requirement. We are NOT all made the same. Why must something be WRONG with ME, because I don't?
I believe it depends on both your nature and your nurture. I have neither of the key characteristics of either of those things. Coupled with a habitual self-bashing sense of self-consciousness and low self-esteem, it is DEFINITELY NOT in my nature to be actively or aggressively, or even passively seeking anyone. I'm pretty sure being heavily criticised and ignored in my "nurturing" environment may have something to do with this. I figure if, someone likes me they will let ME know, if not, then I am perfectly fine with being alone, as I HAVE been all this time. Even, if I wasn't fine with being alone, I still WOULDN'T actively seek anyone out.
I definitely wasn't nurtured to seek relationships. Neither of my parents ever told me anything about male/female relationships, and how they're supposed to be or even how they are made. If anything, observing by default, because I live with them, the only thing they taught me, is that they DON'T WORK and it's NOT something you want to get into. Further, I was never allowed to talk to boys, per my mother's orders. Anyhoo, as a result, I still don't know how to approach relationships. I never learned, wasn't nurtured to do so. The the thing is, I don't even care... cause it's not in my nature.
So maybe the next time someone asks me why I'm single I'll say: "Because I lack the nature and nurture to pursue one."
