As far as dating and race go, I think. Black people are most frequently the ones who blow off an entire race, to date another. Sure there are other ethnic groups that do that as well, but you always hear black men and women talking about why black men and women are no good. Alot of times, Black people, dont even like black people. I think that sometimes it so easy to justify why one is better than the other, because they (black men & women) tolerate things differently, depending on who (which race) it comes from.
I'm going to talk about black men though, especially the ones who claim they can't or won't date black women. I know a guy who is very interested in being involved with a white female who he says is easy going, and in to what he does, doesn't worry about paying for everything (which is points for him), even though he pays too, sexing all night, drinking and partying at the club--
HOLD UP! I'm quite sure there are women of all ethnicities that are willing to do that, (pay, party & sex-up, etc..) out there, but everyone just ISN'T gonna volunteer everything they've got up front--not all the time. I would, for the right gentleman. But there's too many swindlers for it to be automatic. He's just tired of look for them.
ANYWAY,
--- he just discovered why she's got it ($$$) like that, 'cause her occupation is in the very lucrative side of adult services. Yet he's still pursuing the relationship. Granted he did express his concern that he doesn't want her to do that kind of work anymore, should they continue, he is still seeing her, she is still working. Now here's where I really get into my opinion. Now, I think: if that had been a black girl, I don't think he would have given her another chance after finding out that type of info, even if it was just exotic dancing or some kind of nude internet modeling. He would have been on to the next one and she would have been all types of money loving freaks & hoes.
But black men tolerate things in non-black women, that they wouldn't tolerate in black women, I THINK. Don't forget, this is just my opinion.
I don't have a problem with people dating outside their race, if they're dating for the person and not just the race. I think dating solely for race reasons is kinda messed up..... it's racist. However, in speaking my opinion of black men, I just think black men are so much more tolerant of things with non-black women. For instance black women always wonder why they see attractive black men with what they see as average or... how can I say.... not very attractive white women.
I think black men tolerate things like average looks or worst, in exchange for long hair and fair skin, plus maybe they (the non-black women) may not really know where they (black men) are coming from in life, with what they're saying or doing, so they (non-black women) may not ask questions and negate; they'll just take it at face value. You say you do this, that, and the other, then that must be true. Meanwhile, alot of black women have been right there with you, been through the same things, came from the same type of people, homes, lifestyle. Black women, might know the game, so they're going to ask questions-- for clarification. You gotta show and prove. We may not just wanna hear the talk, we want to see the walk, too. Now I'm not saying that is the end all be all, but just based on what I have observed, with some of the guys I know, its just reality.
Men already have the greatest self-esteem, probably all that needing them to procreate stuff. Even an average or less black man, and it depends, because beauty is in the eye of the beholder, wants and believes he deserves only the finest, most beautiful woman. Everybody wants a Barbie, a bad b---h, a 5* chick, and then "if you ain't got no booty then you gotta go home"--the Dream.
"Do my ladies run it, fat asses and flat stomachs?..."--Juelz Santana
"I like them Ameries, [not] them Amarosas"--Lil' wayne, who is dark skinned and not deemed awfully attractive by the majority, but according to his lifestyle $$ (all light skinned- medium/mixed baby mommas) and words, he does not like darker skinned women. Go figure. Oh well. I guess, you like what you like.
You gotta have donk, you gotta twerk, you gotta have long hair, but, then they're gonna put you down and label you fake for having a weave, etc... It is hard work trying be attractive to black men, only to watch them leave with,date, or marry a non-black, who doesn't have a donk, might have a potbelly, and couldn't twerk if it were for life or death.
I think black men want black women to be the reflection of all of their perfect desires, plus without questioning whatever gift of gab they give out. Meanwhile, if you're non-black and you don't question them (like those damn black girls, SMH!) you don't have to work as hard. You hair ain't gotta be perfect, cause don't get it twisted, white girls are weaving to achieve too; non- black women, you don't have to have the perfect body, at least you're not black. With black women, you could be as cute in the face, slim in the waist as you wanna be, but a black dude will find something wrong.
Black man: She a-ight, she ain't got no ass though.
You went out and got a Rihanna, Pink, Halle or who ever hair cut--
Black man: I don't like bald head girls.
Who DOESN'T like Halle Berry?!... BULLSHIT!!
Meanwhile, he's wallking aroung with a non-black, quote-unquote model chick, 5* chick, or whatever, with a Bob haircut and a serious case of NOASSATALL. Go figure.
Black man: I mean really, who needs all THAT ass? Your wide hips look good too.
Like I said I couldn't care less. I'm not out here trying desperately to land a man anyway. I'm just saying.
10 comments:
I agree it should be about the person not the color but black men, especially dark skinned ones are still battling the color complex and it is sad!! Men and women love who you love for who they are not what color they are, period!!
I second that, Nkanyezi! Thanks for reading!
Alot of good points, I'm also tired of those men justifying or putting down black women just to date outside of there race.
Right. It bothers me when I hear guys say "I don't like ___ women, because they...." Right there, their generalizing, and using it as a way to justify why they need/ have to exclude an entire group.
I've witnessed much of what you're talking about. I'm a man who has dated black and white women, and I was married to a black woman. It didn't work out. I don't believe any of the above applies to me, but my issue was I didn't want people to think that I was that type of guy who wouldn't date black women or give a sister a chance just because I'm now seeing a white woman. Insecure I suppose.
Most black women are just as analytical, theoretical, and controversial as any talk show host, judge, scholar, or race. Black women require an effect to your cause, evidence to your story, and reason to your belief. Some may consider these social elements as a barrier to intimate relationships and sheer controversy to the male ego. Therefore, sparking conflict between the black man and black woman common interactions—causing a communication gap. Which in turn, leads the black man to an aura of less explanation and less detail he has to withstand (punk, perhaps). There is no challenge, no vice versa, no competition for the black man to encounter. Just a trophy piece at the end of a short line—the white woman.
I most definitely agree with the pervious statements.....I often wonder why were so excepting of this behavior, where as other cultures would shun or disown a son or daughter for mixing outside of there race. I believe that there’s something a lot deeper then what’s on the surface. I’m one those woman who love black men, but thinks that they’re sometime weak or ignorant to the fact or reality to what’s really going on beyond the surface. Not racist just curious.
Well, Reyhan
At least you even acknowledge that this behavior does exist. Alot of men who participate in it don't and won't. They would rather just place blame solely on the black women. Yet, they are not in anyway responsible by the way they treat them.
Antevia,
thanks for putting it so well. I guess alot of them just want to talk the talk and not be required to walk the walk.
Anonymous. I don't know why the behavior is so excepted. But I suspect, because they don't want to let on Thebes they care or are bothered, lest people come to believe that black women are jealous and or have something against women of other races. But, no one wants to be made to feel like they are less worthy than another, because if their skin color.
My same Black male friends who would rather date a non-black solely because of their physical attributes, would shin a black woman for doing the same.
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