1. Having someone break up with you or end what ever dating you were doing, suddenly without notice
or
2. Having someone break up with you or end what ever dating you were doing, with a vague reason or excuse that you don't understand.
There are no, right or wrong answers here. Both ways can be equally heart-breaking and upsetting. Both are also cowardly ways to deal with relationship matters. So, either way you are a punk if you approach your relationships with either of these tactics. Let me break down the proof...
Tactic number 1, "Having someone break up with you or end what ever dating you were doing, suddenly without notice," only makes the situation worst. Obviously your relationship wasn't going so well, already. First of all, you really must not have been as into the person as you let on to end the relationship this way, which makes you a conniving liar, which is not a good trait. If you were, the last thing you would want to do is, cause the person whom you claim to care about more pain and frustration than the break-up is already causing. Secondly, you're of no help to the emotional growth of this person. If they were already a jerkface, now they're probably going to be an even more of a bitter jerkface to the next person, because of what you did to them. Have you ever heard of a woman scorned? Well, the woman may not have been scorned had she learned from a healthy break-up, and not a sudden disappearance from a punk bitch.
Here's an example:
You: "We need to talk."
Them: "Okay...What's wrong?
You: "I just don't think I want to continue this relationship. You're…blah, blah, blah... and I'm…blah, blah, blah... I just don't think it will work out in the long run, etc…. Or I don't want to wait and see if it will work out in the long run, etc….."
Them: (They might ask why, plead for another chance, assure you to give it another try, cry, scream, try to hit you, etc…)
But here's the thing, when everything is all said and done, at least they will know why the relationship ended.
They won't have to agonize over why, and wonder if it was their fault, and what's wrong with them. They will KNOW.
And like G.I. Joe says, knowing is half the battle.
Third, people have got to stop treating people like expendable items. You kind of have to treat relationships like long interviews. So, okay, the relationship is over, it's like; you didn't get the permanent position. The least you could do is leave on a good note. If you leave without ever even saying thank you, or good day, or something like that, it will be that much harder for you to be reconsidered for the position, no matter how much you upgrade. You might as well have just tipped your interviews desk over, threw the furniture around, smooshed the interviewer in the face, presented your ass (mooned) and stormed out going,
"Fuck this job. I didn't want to work here anyway!"
That, in essence is what you are saying to your ex-girl or boyfriend, by becoming a magician and disappearing like that--- just leaving them hanging --- I don't care about you. I never cared about you. You don't/didn't mean shit to me. I'm out!
That's a terrible way to make someone feel, especially if you ever showed any sort of care about them in the first place.
And if your paths ever cross again, do not expect a good reference.
Don't be mad if the next girl is just 6 degrees of separation from your ex, and your ex decides to throw so much salt in you game your cholesterol goes up.
Tactic number 1, "Having someone break up with you or end what ever dating you were doing, with a vague reason or excuse that you don't understand," is just as bad as number 1. It does pretty much the same thing; additionally it causes a great deal of stress. Not only does the person have to deal with the lost of the relationship, they also have make sense of the nonsense of bullshit (because if it doesn't make sense, then it pretty much IS bullshit.
These are all true stories. Absurd break up reasons. ( I actually know these people or parties involved)
I know of a guy who broke up with a girl by saying, "I just… don't really have time…and you know… "(and yeah, he never finished the you know part) This was after they had been together for almost 6 years. After six years, that didn't really make sense to her. It wasn't as if either of their schedules had changed to reflect absolutely no time—so naturally, she figured it was bullshit. But why? You don't really have time? What???---time TODAY? This week? Time to call? Time to go out? Time for love? What!!!? You need a watch??? What???? Why, at the 6 year point and not at maybe the first month---what changed? This is the type of stress bullshit excuses put people through. She was left to ponder why it ended, was it her fault, what was she doing, etc….. See, a lot of unnecessary stress.
Even more absurd than that was one of my friends whose boyfriend broke up with her because, (his words) "I don't like your cat!"
(Her thoughts) "What???--- You don't' like my… pussy?" No he actually didn't like the fucking fur ball that sat on the windowsill.
What kind of shit was that---what is this Seinfeld? Were you in the relationship with the cat or the female? And so, of course she refused to believe that it was just the cat, and she's stuck wondering what the "real" problem was, and or what the hell the cat did. Did it bite him or scratch him while I wasn't looking. Did it try to steal his breath? Do cats really do that? Is he superstitious? What????
Or
There was another one of my friends, who stopped communicating with a man because his shoes leaned to the side. He treated her well, but his busted shoes were a deal breaker. What the fuck? How shallow!!!! Only thing is she didn't tell him this. She opted for tactic number 1, and just stopped calling and returning his calls. After he wined and dined her for a month, she left him hanging. Now, he and his busted shoes are probably out dogging some new female.
Sad cycle.
Now, please forgive me if you were/are being truthful and you truly believe you had/have to discontinue the relationship because of the cat, the busted shoes, or because your watch broke or whatever!!! But, allow me to say this----
You are an asshole and a jerkface! If you were/are that shallow, don't even embark on relationships with these types of people from the jumpstart, I'm sure you knew they had a fucking cat. And if you bailed on a relationship for a cat or some other dumb shit like that, you're just and idiot and a jackass, and maybe you should just stay by yourself, because you don't know how to communicate with normal people. Fucking weirdo!!! Or at least let the person know up front.
and I'm spent!
Ms. Kane if you're nasty
